tribute to a warrior spirit

Stacy Helen Kulaw smeltzer

October 9th, 1964 - January 9th, 2021

My dear friends - she is free.

Let's all agree that we will never say that Stacy "lost" her battle to cancer. Some say you shouldn't call it a battle to begin with, but this was surely a fight, and she was incredibly brave to fight for as long as she did. It took courage just to get in the car for every long drive to Duarte - for surgery, radiation, infusions, and needles (and she HATED needles). She endured side effects and fear of the unknown. And she did this all for us. She could have given up and she would surely have been gone sooner. She knew this outcome was inescapable, but she extended her time for the benefit of everyone she loved, because she knew how much we all loved her.

And yes, she's gone now, but she didn't lose. In the final days, cancer seemed to have the upper hand. It had worn her completely out and all she could do was sleep. And while she did sleep comfortably and peacefully to the very end, cancer thought it had her beaten.

Then, as I lay by her side, holding her hand, she pulled off a daring last move. With ninja-like grace, she escaped to a new and permanent place of love, happiness and safety - leaving the cancer to go down with the ship. I'm sure she shouted a big F*** YOU CANCER as she spirited away.

This loss is ours, not hers. We will miss her indelible smile, her sneak-attack wit and her deep love for good people and better dogs. And while we can't get more of Stacy, we have so much that she left us with, and we can keep that always.

She loved each and every one of you deeply - and she wanted me to tell you all that she's sorry she had to go so soon, but this was the only way for her to win.

And you know how much Stacy likes to win.